TRADED
By Jill L Atkinson (July 6, 2019)
Grace extended
Advantage taken
Once again we fight
Pushed pain aside
Forgiveness given
Thought it would make things right
Pride presented
Reason ignored
Truth exchanged for lies
Character disparaged
Anger rising
Passion flares inside
Behind closed doors
I spill my pain
My anger, rage and fight
You walk in
And take a place
Directly in my sights
Arrows fly
And curses rain
Venom pours from pain
Screaming words
And seething hate
Feeling beyond insane
All spills forth
At target made
When stepped within my range
I hate myself
Believing lies
When said that you had changed
I didn’t ask to talk it out
In that my rage expended
But you deemed fit
That be the time
Though my rage had not yet ended
Now moment passed
I feel no pain
No fear or joy or shame
No emotion anymore
Just broken, numb and drained
Some time ago
You swore to love
And join your life to mine
To work with me
And help me out
To cherish, not divide
But stoic strength
Revealed it’s truth
In arrogant response
Extreme control
And lack of trust
Havoc mind ensconced
Relief unexpected
Pushed too far
Mind is all a blank
As are emotions
Nothing left
Now numbness for my pain
Got your wish
Feel dead inside
A shell of who I was
Your promises, lies
I see inside
Overwhelmed because
Excuses, diversions
Nothing’s your fault
Everything else to blame
I thought I escaped
But traded one hell
For another one
Just the same.