Whether you want to be sure all your relationships are healthy or you want to be able to help someone who is in a dysfunctional relationship, all of us need to recognize relationship red flags. It could prevent you or someone you know from getting involved in a toxic or dangerous relationship.
One partner belittles the other by questioning their judgment or competency.
One partner criticizes or makes fun of the other in front of others and then claims they were joking or not serious.
One partner feels like they are walking on eggshells. They are careful not to do something that might upset the other person.
One partner feels nervous around the other. They don't feel safe and they don't know what to expect.
One partner becomes quiet or withdrawn in the presence of the other and also in social settings.
The victim takes on the responsibility for the abuser's anger (e.g., "I shouldn't have said that").
One partner is always apologizing, even when they are not at fault.
One partner won't accept responsibility for their behavior. They make excuses.
One partner feels the need to ask permission.
One partner is set off by small irritations.
One partner is incapable of examining their own attitudes.
One partner often puts down or insults the other.
One partner prevents the other from working, attending school, or participating in hobbies or activities.
One partner blames the other for their abusive behavior or acts like it's not happening.
When the victim tells the abuser that their feelings were hurt, the abuser says they are too sensitive.
One partner gives the other a look that causes fear. It's a threatening glare.
One partner controls whom the other sees, where they go, or what they do.
One partner frequently criticizes the other.
One partner frequently lies or deceives the other.
The abuser threatens to harm the victim or someone the victim loves.
The dating partner wants to move too quickly in the relationship.
One partner is unwilling to compromise.
One partner is confused about the relationship.
One partner restrains, slaps, or pokes the other.
One partner expects grace for their failures but offers no grace for the shortcomings of others.
One partner seems to have two opposite personalities--one very good, one very bad.
One partner rages out of control with the other partner but can maintain composure around others.
One partner demands to know where the other is at all times. They frequently call, email, and text throughout the day.
One partner calls the other names or says that no one else would ever want or love them.
One partner prevents the other from seeing friends or family members.
One partner gives the other the silent treatment for extended lengths of time.
One partner threatens to commit suicide because of something the other has done.
One partner must always win.
One partner hurts or threatens to hurt or kill their pets.
One partner downplays and minimizes the feelings of the other.
One partner does not honor the boundaries of the other.
One partner takes the other's money, refuses to give the partner money for expenses, or runs up their credit card debt.
One partner blames the failure of previous relationships on the former partner; for example, "My ex was crazy."
An early warning sign is that the other person treats strangers with contempt.
One partner destroys the property of the other.
One partner intimidates the other with guns, knives, or other weapons.
One partner pressures the other into violating their conscience.
One partner has an injury that doesn't make sense.
Both partners engage in physical fights with each other.
One partner punches the wall or throws an object next to the other partner.
One partner takes risks that put the other partner in danger.
One partner is excessively jealous and accuses the other of being unfaithful.
One partner has a history of abusing others.